I moved to Berlin from Novosibirsk in 2010.
Nobody is telling you this when you move to the western bubble – what emotional intelligence means in those countries. How you will most likely not get promoted if you don’t show signs of high emotional intelligence. How networking is key. How being in harmony with your emotions is crucial for making anything work, really.
Three skills I didn’t know I was missing:
Networking as a survival skill. Back home, your work spoke for you. But here the hallway conversation matters more than the quarterly report.
Self-promotion without shame. Growing up, talking about your achievements was showing off. Here, if you don’t advocate for yourself, nobody will.
Performing emotional stability. Managing stress, handling conflict, processing feedback – all while appearing calm and collaborative. It is expected. It will not be taught.
I got lucky exactly once. One leader who saw what I was missing. Who had the uncomfortable conversations. Who helped me rewire behavioral patterns I’d carried from childhood. She’s still my friend today.
But most people moving for a career in the West aren’t that lucky. They hit an invisible ceiling, get laid off, or burned out trying to figure out why their tech brilliance wasn’t enough.
Now, working with aspiring founders, I see the same pattern repeating.
People trying to build businesses while carrying emotional frameworks that worked at home but fail here.
Before the pitch deck, before the business plan, there’s harder work: Learning to create not just how people see you, but how you experience your own life in a system that won’t bend to meet you.
And when building, it is even more important than in the job, the stakes are higher.
It’s not fair. But it’s the foundation you can’t underestimate.
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